Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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