I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
