Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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