"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
