Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
