I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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