guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
