What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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