chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
