i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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