if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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