I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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