her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
