very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize