I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
