I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
