well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
