the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
