P.S. I can't hear my feet
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dicks are not precious.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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