They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
