He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
