Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He shit in the fireplace
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
