ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
