i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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