I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
