I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
this is an emotional support booty call
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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