Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
