Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
