If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
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we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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