So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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