So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
