she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
