1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
