i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
