Apparently you make a good broom.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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