I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
