Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
