my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
