i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize