we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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