what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize