Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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