We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
