then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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