Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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