I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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