I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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