There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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