I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My bed smells like the plague
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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