U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
