I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
