I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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