the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
