I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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