great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
