The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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