you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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