I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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