toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
youre lurking in front of me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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