Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
now i know why i became what i already was.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
