I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
